Stages of grief for pet loss
 In her 1969 book "On Death and Dying", Elisabeth Kübler-Ross MD
introduced us to the five stages of grieving.
More for ease of reference than steps you take, because when you think of it, grief is more of a continuum you
work your way along.
The stages of grief for pet loss experienced by an animal lover are no different than when a person you love
dies.
They are:
Especially if your pet died unexpectedly, you're stunned about what happened. Denial is a defense mechanism,
temporarily masking the pain of the trauma you feel.
Once the initial shock passes, you face the harsh reality that your pet is dead. In trying to avoid feeling the
inner pain, you often lash out at anyone - yourself, your family, the vet, even strangers.
If you have just been given a poor prognosis about your ill pet, before rushing into euthanasia, put aside your
fear and perhaps guilt ("If I had have taken him to the vet earlier, maybe he would have got better"). Now is the
time to discuss your options with the vet. He cares about your pet's wellbeing and understands how painful this is
for you.
Communicate openly and honestly when dealing with your anger.
You bargain when coping with grief.
Seeking out miracle cures, a new diet for your pet or a second opinion ... not that there's anything wrong with
doing everything you can before resorting to euthanasia.
Hoping to avoid the inevitable, you may find yourself bargaining with God, "If she gets better, I promise I'll
..."
You may feel guilt - that you didn't do enough for your pet. Maybe you feel you didn't spend enough time with
her, playing, taking her for walks or giving her the attention she craved.
Sadness and depression are natural consequences of grief. You constantly think about your beloved pet. This
stage of grief for pet loss usually takes the longest to work through.
You feel drained, overwhelmed and lack energy to do anything.
Eventually you need to separate from your pet and letting go can be very hard. Some people get stuck on one of
the stages and actually never reach closure.
If depressed feelings persist and you are unable to lead a normal life, you might want to meet with a therapist
or counselor.
Not everyone reaches this stage.
Your pet will always occupy a special place in your heart and you will cherish your memories. If you reach the
stage of acceptance, you remember your pet in a peaceful way.
You move on with your life which now stabilizes into a new and different lifestyle. You find substitutes for
your pet - instead of taking him for an evening walk, you join a yoga class, maybe socialize more, and get involved
in other activities.
Feeling hope for the future indicates healing has taken place and you may even consider getting another pet.
Not cast in stone, these stages of grief for pet loss are a guide to let you know the anguish and sorrow you
feel is normal.
| 
